Homesick

I want to move back to the Midwest so bad. Texas definitely is a close second. I miss everyone all the time, and I have regret for lost potential of what friendships some of my acquaintances could've become if I'd stuck around either place. Now I'm out here in California, and I'm working so hard trying to be ready to apply to medical school in June, I have no time for anything social to attempt to meet new people, and that wouldn't help how much I miss all my friends anyway, and how bad I am at keeping in touch and really feeling as though my best friends are still my best friends. So basically, life's rough and I'm a whiner. I'm not looking for any advice here, really, I just don't want anyone to be jealous of me. I guess I think it might appear that I have it all figured out.

Yes, it's true that I had an amazing wedding, I get to keep a pretty cool husband around, and I have one cat that's a jerk and one that's scared of me but I love them both. I get to live in the Bay Area, I have a steady and well paying job that is in the medical field, and I'm taking an MCAT prep course and aiming for medical school. Those are all good things. Really good things, I admit.

However, it really means nothing without family or friends. Yes, I have Tom. I love him very much, but I can't (and shouldn't) share everything only with him. I need a community and either of the communities that I created around myself are over a thousand miles away from me.

So hug everyone close to you, and celebrate any times you have with your friends and how easy it is to see them and connect with them. I take the blame, partially, for ending up in this emotional state. I placed myself here, a thousand miles away. In part it was a conscious decision. And now I am making the conscious decision to undo it. Somehow. I will find a way.